Bangkok Is Not for Me: My Unfiltered Experience

Bangkok Is Not for Me: My Unfiltered Experience 

I arrived in Bangkok full of hope and excitement, ready to begin a new chapter in my life with my youngest daughter, Lordess. I had heard so much about the city's energy, the affordability, and the unique culture, but as the days went by, reality began to set in. One month later, I find myself facing a truth I hadn’t anticipated: Bangkok just isn’t for me.

Expectations vs. Reality

When I envisioned living in Bangkok, I pictured a walkable city with easy access to the MRT and BTS stations, allowing me to hop around with ease. I imagined that even in a bustling metropolis, I'd be able to find comfort, affordability, and a sense of belonging. What I quickly discovered was quite the opposite. 

Yes, there are street vendors and 7-11s within 2-3 blocks of my apartment, and that convenience is nice, but it’s not enough to compensate for the lack of walkability I had expected. We’re staying in what I would consider a more local area just outside of Ekkamai, and while that might sound ideal for someone wanting to experience authentic Bangkok life, it’s not working for me. It’s noisy, chaotic, and has a “New York City” vibe that I’ve never been drawn to. And even when I venture into more walkable areas like Thong Lo, I find myself underwhelmed. 

In Thong Lo, on a Thursday afternoon, there’s not much to do other than eat or get a massage. For someone who recently underwent weight loss surgery, dining out is no longer a form of entertainment for me. The excitement of trying new foods just isn’t there when I’m restricted to small portions, so that aspect of Bangkok life falls flat. Add to that the bars not serving alcohol between 2 and 5 PM, and it feels like there’s a whole chunk of the day where options for socializing are limited. 

Gentrification and Financial Realities

I came to Thailand with a vision of living a somewhat luxurious life on a modest budget. From YouTube videos, I had seen people talking about how you could live comfortably in Bangkok on $1,000-$1,500 a month. They made it sound like paradise—affordable childcare, weekly massages, getting your nails done, and never having to cook. But I quickly learned that this lifestyle was out of reach, especially with my desire to provide childcare for Lordess three days a week. 

The gentrification in Bangkok is very real, and the prices in certain areas reflect that. I thought I would be able to find a reasonably priced nanny or daycare, but the costs were far beyond my expectations. The daycare options I looked into were priced for those living a far more affluent lifestyle than I can afford. So I had to let go of that dream of having a nanny and weekly massages. The reality is that I’m on a shoestring budget, and even in Thailand, that doesn’t stretch as far as I had hoped.

A Slow Descent Into Depression

This financial strain, combined with the overwhelming environment, has led to a sense of isolation and even depression. Within just one week of being here, I started sinking into the same depressive patterns I experienced in the U.S. I didn’t want to leave the apartment, and I constantly questioned whether it was worth the money to go out and explore. So far, the answer has been no. The thrill of adventure is gone when every outing seems to cost more than it’s worth.

Even though I’ve only been here a month, I’m already feeling burnt out on Bangkok. I’ve started to wonder if I made the wrong choice coming here, and I can’t help but dream of escaping to Pattaya. There’s something about the beach that has always felt healing to me, and I believe that maybe, just maybe, a move to Pattaya would bring some peace. I’ve even found myself wishing I could cut my Airbnb stay short and leave Bangkok sooner.

The Pressure to Create Content

One of my goals in moving to Thailand was to create content and share my experiences with others. But here’s the thing: I don’t even want to show people Bangkok. I feel like everyone who follows travel vlogs or lifestyle content wants to see the glamorous side of the city—the markets, the street food, the bustling nightlife. And while I’m sure there’s an audience for that, I’m just not interested in showcasing it.

I know I need to push forward and start filming, so tomorrow, I plan to start my vlog. But instead of highlighting the aspects of Bangkok that I dislike, I’ll focus on what I can control: getting work done and managing my time effectively. Lordess seemed to enjoy her drop-in daycare, so I’ll budget for her to spend more time there while I work from the apartment. Even though my heart’s not in it, the work still needs to get done.

Looking Ahead: Three More Weeks in Bangkok

I have three more weeks left in Bangkok, and I wish I could say I was excited about it. Instead, I’m counting down the days until we can move on to the next chapter. Right now, I feel like I’m simply surviving here, not thriving. Bangkok has tested my patience, my budget, and my mental health in ways I didn’t expect.

What I’ve learned in this short time is that no matter how much research you do, living in a city is different from visiting it. Watching travel vlogs and reading articles online can only prepare you so much. You don’t truly know how a place will feel until you’re in the thick of it, navigating its streets and trying to carve out a life for yourself.

Bangkok is a vibrant city with so much to offer to the right person, but for me and my daughter, it’s just not the right fit. I’m hopeful that the next leg of our journey will bring the peace and joy I had hoped to find here. In the meantime, I’ll focus on the small wins—like Lordess enjoying her daycare and finding pockets of quiet where I can get some work done.

Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Pivot

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned throughout this entire journey is that it’s okay to change direction. I came to Thailand with a clear idea of how I wanted things to go, but life rarely unfolds exactly as we plan. Sometimes, you have to pivot, adjust your expectations, and find new ways to make the best of the situation.

I’m not sure where we’ll end up next, but I know now that it’s okay to admit when something isn’t working. Bangkok may not be the place for us, but that doesn’t mean this experience is a failure. It’s just another step in the journey, and I’m confident that we’ll find our way, one step at a time.

So here’s to three more weeks in Bangkok, doing what I can to make the most of it—and then moving on to what’s next. Whether it’s Pattaya or somewhere else, I’m ready for a fresh start.